The Vest’s New Hero

Somewhere my previous owner is smiling.

Warning:  both Papa Smurf and Coolio have foul mouths.  Shame shame.


For Sale

For sale: Tony Romo jersey. Pristine condition. Only worn twice. Like new except for tear stains on the front. Contact Ammo Guy at  No reasonable offers refused.

Counting sheep….

Doesn’t work.

The Steelers playoff picture…

Here are the scenarios for the Steelers to make the playoffs:

The Steelers win and any of the three scenarios occur:

1. The Texans and Jets both lose or tie.

2. The Texans and Ravens both lose or tie.

3. The Jets, Ravens and Broncos all lose or tie.

So, in short, the Vest must cheer for the Bungles, Raiders, and Patsies in order for the Steelers to make the post season.

I hate football.

Steelers – Ravens, V2.0

Steelers – Ravens v2.0.  Nuff said.  A Steelers win keeps their slim playoff hopes alive, while it DOESN’T eliminate the ratbirds from the tournament of champions.  This should be a good, nasty, dirty game.  Now, a preview as the Vest sees it….

Gay Ray enters the field. Gay Ray gets all knifey again

Screaming: “Wooooo.  Dogs in the house!  Praise the Lord and this glorious day!”

Inaudibly: “Imma get all stabby again today.  Aint no Steelers gonna take down Gay Ray and the Ratbirds”.

<Ray stabs multiple players after piling on a tackle for a five yard gain>

Gay Ray:  “Huh?  Whatchu talking about?  What blood?  Praise the Lord.  Everyone calls me big brother Ray.  I’m way holier than Tony Dungy.  I would never harm a fellow brother.”

Inaudibly:  “Damn.  How Immma gonna get outta dis one.  Snap!  I know…”

Mr Wolf:  “So what seems to be the problem here.  Oh… I see what the problem is.  Well, just listen to the Wolf, and everything will be ok”

Five minutes later….

Gay Ray:  “What blood?  I tolz you Brother Ray can’t hurt a fellow brother”

Inaudibly:  “Note to self…  kill da Wolf when I get out.  Cracker knows too much”

Nothing to see here

Like I said, nothing to see here. Meh.

The Vest’s new chariot

Well, The Vest is completely fed up with Pharaoh chasing him down in his pharaoh mobile. So, The Vest cut a deal with some Jews, and got a new chariot. Catch me now, Pharaoh!

Wyoming weather

Wyoming weather sucks. -19 degrees means only one thing. Raisins.


So, the Steelers, Superbowl champions, have lost twice to the Bengals, once to the Raiders, Chefs, and Bears, but defeated the Vikings, Chargers, and Broncos. What is wrong with this picture? Can you say “playing down to your opponent”? WTF mate? If the coaching staff can’t get the team up to play the crap teams of the NFL, then how can they win in the playoffs? Ugh!

Steelers – Ravens

The Village People called and they want their look back.

Almost time for the Steelers – Ratbird throwdown. The Vest has to come clean and confess that the Ratbirds are the most despicable, hated team in the NFL. This blog isn’t big enough to describe all the hate that is felt towards “Balteemore”. So, I’ll just plagarize another website and list some good Ravens jokes.

Q: What do you call 53 people sitting around a TV watching the
Super Bowl?
A: The Baltimore Ravens

Q: How do you keep a Baltimore Raven out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Where do you go in Baltimore in case of a tornado?
A: M&T Stadium – they never have a touchdown there

Q: What do you call a Baltimore Raven with a Super Bowl ring?
A: An old thief.

Q: Why doesn’t Annapolis have a professional football team?
A: Because then Baltimore would want one.

Q: What’s the difference between the Baltimore Ravens & a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Baltimore Ravens and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: How many Baltimore Ravens does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out.

Q: What do the Baltimore Ravens and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell “Jesus Christ!”

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